The day I knew I was going to be your mother, I felt a whirlwind of emotions; my life would change completely. I saw your growth month by month, and I began to see physical and emotional changes within me—months of adaptation and acceptance. I was so excited to feel you... My joy increased instantly when I knew your gender, a boy. It grew even more, when I first heard your heartbeat. And my heart exploded with love when I saw your first sonogram. I carried you for nine months in my womb... when I got the news that your heart had stopped beating, my soul broke into thousands of pieces, my world stopped... 39 weeks and four days I had you. When I held you in my arms for the first time, I felt that it was only you and me in the world, you and me forever, an eternal bond between us, my dear Noah. Though I may not comprehend the reason or purpose behind this tragedy now, I trust that clarity will come in due time. 

Your mommy loves and adores you.

You will always be my baby, my first and forever love.  

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(Originally shared on Facebook on 02/14/2017)